Uncertainty

The opening scene of Roma where pools of soapy water made accumulation on the square tiles reflected a small little window through which the audience could view the sky above. One could see the railings of the house through those reflections and a plane flying up in the sky. The sound of soap water with the formation of bubbles helped imagination get the creative wings of illustrations that were therapeutic. Instantly the audience gets glued to the movie. Sometimes, nonverbal communication is felt to be stronger than verbal communication. Studies say 55% of the communication is through body language. In theatre, actors can sense each other even if they don’t directly look at each other. With the Pandemic of Coronavirus, we all challenged these sensing amongst ourselves. How does it feel to have a stranger sit right behind your chair on the other side of that coffee shop that you used to visit regularly? How the Cab driver in his body posture gives you a sense of security or jittery. How does your lover look at you making you uncomfortable out of seduction not yet touching your body but touching your soul? It was almost a week that India had been observing the lockdown. And people were sliding into the blanket known as depression. Though fear had united the country to obey the lockdown it couldn’t unite hearts living under the same roof. A friend cheekily asked, “what must be those people doing who has extramarital affairs”. This jest of his made me think and wonder. True that what happens to relations now that are not sealed and agreed by society. A junior of mine posted on Instagram “This lockdown is going to be difficult for marital rape victims, now that they are bound to live with each other for 21 days”. Some also made fun India is going to have a huge population hype after nine months. Essentially all of us were trying to deal with the uncertainty that had suddenly engulfed worldwide like the serpent from our fairy tale books. For the first time, people appreciated that they are alive consciously and voluntarily. Articles on economic slowdown and how to keep your mental health stable was pouring heavily in the stormed browsing history of the citizens. Among all this Sritoma was mopping her loft that had worn out square chips tiles in the shades of white, slate, and steel blue. She is back in her hometown due to this lockdown. She seldom enjoys Kolkata, but this time it’s a different feeling. There is a sense of togetherness in the city. There is fear but there is love. Families are trying their best not to fight and hold on to each other. People are realizing for the first time what it is to have a maidservant or a full belly meal. Moods are swinging like the pendulum but Sritoma somewhere in her little loft enjoyed her mopping like never before. She moved her mop almost like a paintbrush on a clean canvas. Wondering how comfortable days are without the car honks or the loud voices. Nature has a rhythm and cities seldom get to hear that melody. Maybe that rhythm, that mop, and the awkward silence encouraged her to cope up with the loud cries of uncertainty.

Pain

After a full day’s wait, she pinged him on WhatsApp. It’s very unlikely that she would initiate a ping. Call it her ego or her pride. But something about him compelled her to know his whereabouts. Not that he was the best catch available in the market. They had not even heard each other’s voice for more than 8 years. A dating site got them closer, almost luck by chance. Closer not in proximity but through the pool of emotions. They would tell each other stories. Stories of their life some good, some funny, some tragic, some ironic. However, these stories are what made them who they are today. A thought would trickle to her why did she like him other than the fact that she always liked his company even when they chatted through a frivolous chatroom. Even now both of them had many options in the market to get associated with. He was a rich person with a good body. She was poor with an unhealthy body. He liked to love life that could be controlled, she liked to live a life that ran on faith. But what pulsated between them was the pain. She could resonate with him. He had that pain very fresh in his heart that she is carrying for years together. That pain that makes you lose hope in life, that pain that makes you let go trust forever into an unknown space where it fades like the stars of a cloudy night. You can see that trust playing hide and seek from behind the clouds of thoughts.

… maybe I will continue it on some other day. For now my reader I have only this much to offer.