Ek Nimbu Do Mirchi

I had to write this today. Yes! Today. The Day I was trying to plan everything before I set myself for the first Road Trip in My Olive Green Maruti A Star (Second Hand – First hand owner is my DAD :| and I never bought it, just took it from him :|)

So what happened? I needed to come to work, finish a lot of things, that included my one on one meetings, team meetings, take printout of the route map, Check mails, reply to them, eat on time, meet colleagues and take suggestions how to go about for the Road Trip, Buy some snacks for the journey, make sure mom and dad are doing fine with their health, Etc.

Now I was traveling to work and near my office at Manyata Junction suddenly my car jolted. I felt like someone pushed it from behind suddenly. When I turned I saw this thin, skinny, medium height, dark guy with curly hair driving an Indica banged my car from behind. I was like “Gosh!” now what next. What do I need to do? How much is the damage? Multiple questions kept popping up. Physically I had to move out of the car and go and do a verbal thrash to him and had to be very strict. Basically I am very Laid Back Person. I hate to confront people. I hate to argue, I hate to fight. That is how I am, but living in a city that is not mine, I often have to shift from my comfort zone. There is an inbuilt feeling of sex equality and inequality that exists in me. I don’t know but I feel that females and males are sharing a huge hypocrite mindset in India. We brag females being pilots, soldiers, activists and celebrates Women’s Day but then when you are on an India Road and Fighting with a Cab Driver, Half of the people stare at you because you are female and not because you are a victim irrespective of Gender. May be we never got freedom within sex from the generations so there is always a sense of awe, hounding, pseudo-ism among us.

I got down went up to him and said, “Itna jaldi hai” he tried to argue back saying “Kya …” I didn’t let him complete, and I said “Kya, Kya, kaise thoka hai gari”. Immediately I went and took the picture of his number plate. Saw that my car got a Dent behind. By now people from buses, other private cabs and taxis started starring at me and at the cabbie. I said get down from the car. He didn’t listen to me. He was trying to start his car, I took of his car keys, in the meanwhile I hurt my finger and blood started Oozing. Later when I was narrating this to a friend of mine she said  “Tu hata payee ki?” she had that shock in her voice. “What to do, karna padta hai” a little me kept saying inside. Payal has only seen these things on road but never was a part of the scene, I was fighting with the Driver and I told him. “Hazaar rupaay do and go” at that time when I was formulating the sentence in my mind I kept thinking if he gives me thousand rupees how will he do “Guzara” with his family. He took out 10 rupees from his pocket and showed me. I was like really are you kidding or are you kidding. Angry Payal is very Angry but Payal wants to laugh out loud. She has this weirdness in her, at most tensed situations she just lets it go. Oh no Cars Honking, so I came back to my reality again. I keep coming back to reality and travel in my own time and space often. So I was wandering it’s an accident and he may have been rash but no driver takes out car on road to create accidents. Anyways. I got bored of the fighting within 2 mins. Some other cabs said “Madam side main jaake fight karo” I said “Shut up! Side se apna gari nikalo aur jao” Then I got bored again of fighting. I thought “Fayeda kya fight karke” Me the individual gets bored too fast with things. And I did let him go. I got into the car, I thought I was really not strict with him. He got the car beside mine and smiled and said thank you, and main “Gaal Gayee”, I kept telling myself, Payal you are so useless. You can’t even take Revenge. God Kya hoga tera?

I came to office and told my colleagues, friends and duniya jahan about the incident. They all gave their inputs. In a Whatsapp Group I shared with my Bong Friends and told them how I feel scared now to do the road trip that I have tomorrow.

So a friend said Ek Nimbu aur Do Mirchi le lo, Gadi main laganey ke liye nehi but muri (bhel) ke saath khane ke liye, Dusra bola nehi nehi Ek Nimbu and Do Mirchi le lo, cocktail banane ke liye. I just laughed reading their comments. Same Ek Nimbu and Do Mirchi – Kabhi kala jadu hatane ke liye use hota hai, kabhi bhel main daal ke chatpata snacks and gaap shaap ke liye aur kabhi Daru main mila ke high ho ke masti karne ke liye.

PS – Different people with different perspective. Maybe my readers will think I am not a strict person but let me be the lenient one. I hope the Cab driver who did hit my car feels better inside his heart. Take Care Curly hair Cabbie! Is this another Unlearn session? I don’t know :) But all I know is I am peaceful inside. 

PPS : My Close Friend Says - Bangalan Gari nehi Gaadi. Ri nehi Di. But I will keep it as RI ;)

Writing in Office

Today I had asked a close friend to write something abstract when she was in her new Office. She sounded hesitant to accept what I was saying. It’s her new office and she has never done something like this before. Often we think that office is a place to work only. It has these air conditioned humongous floors which looks like an amalgamation of corridors and dorms and halls. Which would have the short height-ed ceilings, often white or grey in color where everything is still bright but is not vibrant. It’s more of Stand Still. Then there are they dark little monsters on whom we sit. They are called the desk chairs. Padded well from all the side. Flexible enough to raise up and raise down. Tilt back and front. Rotate and make you feel like a merry go round. And the feeling I can control it whichever way I want gives each one of us a sense of achievement. There are these rectangular jigsaw puzzles called cubicles which can be taken out from one place and placed somewhere else. The only difference it has from Jigsaw puzzle is that they look like a maze but never fits actually anywhere until and unless some human fills those cubicles. A Cubicle without people in it looks sullen, dry and cold. There are these secret boxes which has tiny metal wand to unlock them – Called the Pedestal Keys. Now if these Ceilings/Chairs/Cubicles/Pedestals had eyes how many things they may have had witnessed. They would have had seen the generous sights of people secretly calling/talking over phone with their beloveds of nuptial life or on whatsapp messages with their new found love/friends, or checking online stores to buy the best deal of the day. They may be replying to mails of their bosses and peers or trying to talk to their subordinates on Chat to make them understand how work and life can be balanced. Sometimes GTALKS actually talks to the people more than the adjacent colleague. Sometimes they see clouds in the eyes of some where they just got exhausted to core with work or life. Sometimes they are just smiling when they see a Facebook Update. Sometimes they just see people talking loudly across the floor on Budgets or Passionate use of words about Cricket.

So these stand still elements do witness a lot. Will they have a problem if someone is writing something that their heart believes in? Will the ceiling above me get angry/upset because now I am typing on a word doc which later I will copy paste in my Blog. I don’t feel so? Won’t the ceiling be happier when it sees me giving my 100% in the meeting that I have 10 mins from now? So what is the fault in writing when you are in office? Do I learn now that writing in office is bad only because when you come to office you should be like a robot programmed to do a set of task and tick every task as you accomplish them? Or should I unlearn that and feel more human – get the body soul and mind to the workplace and just be the person I am rather than trying to change to someone who I am not. My Office hired me for the person I am. Yes Degree College and Work experience matters but isn’t that the attitude and brain cells that are actually judged during the interview? All this while did I just learn to be a robot or did I just unlearn to be one. Or Did I learn to be human? 

PS: My friend did write a piece at her new office and send it to me in gmail. And my only reaction for the piece and her attitude was “WOW”

I wish and I want

When things have to happen they happen. Sometimes we get impatient about it and sometimes we get laid back about it. 

A close friend told me to keep him posted about my unlearning series. My unlearning piece that happened a couple of days back has struck me very hard. From the day it struck me and today I have consciously, casually, unknowingly and knowingly kept on unlearning things as an when I could pull myself from the regular belief system of learning. So what did I do basically? 

I - Payal consciously looked at situations and let my feelings take over rather than thinking/logic take over. To be honest it may have been 2 % of my day or 0.2 % I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Let somethings be not calculated not structured not tabulated. 

It’s not that I like mess. I like to keep my table clean, my bed sheets white and spotless, my hair combed, my skin glowing, my books neat but I also like to wild in my thoughts. I like thoughts and cosmos energy free fall on me. Honestly I wanted to write something about trees, how trees have feelings and what great extent they can go till. I did watch a video on YouTube which gave reference of a BIG Channel BBC. Honestly after 15 off minutes I got bored. The data was too technical, too tabulated, and too proof oriented. When I am trying to unlearn why do I want to learn so much. Let the feeling that a tree has feelings just be there within me. I don’t need facts and figures, I don’t need discussions and forums, and all I need is a little bit of me. 

Today is kind of a big day for Internet. Messages/Videos/Articles going Viral about Leonardo DiCaprio Winning Oscar. I watched his speech and I read somewhere on Facebook that at last he has accepted Oscar, I kept on thinking did he ever give up Oscar? So I tried to Google for next 3 secs and we all know 3 sec for Google is a lot of time. I didn’t get anything that said he gave it up. It’s not about the actor but somewhere it struck me one can actually feel the joy of something (especially something that you need a lot) when you give up. I know a lot of my readers will say – That’s a stupid Idea or being cynical. But don’t you think when you get something you rather give up and then see how you feel about it. Let me not give an example. An example makes things very visual at times and very restricted. But let’s say in this way. I want something. Every night I wish for it. As per my belief and very well popular saying when you want something the whole universe tries its best to give it to you. The contemporary laws of attraction. Now you waited you wished you hoped you wanted and you Got IT. YES THE BIG DAY ARRIVED WHEN YOU OPENED YOUR EYES FROM YOUR SLEEP and your DREAM is now your REALITY. So what do you do you go ahead spread your arms of feelings and hug it? A lot of you may say its showing respect to that thing what you wanted. I would feel I would GIVE IT UP! I would give it up only to get it back again in a better way. Do I make sense to you? Now why I would give it up? I feel I would give up to get the feeling of giving up. When you want something very deep somewhere a thick slice of ego comes in with that want. I want to be pure to my want. I want to be fresh with my wish hence I want to give it up. In the process what happens. Ego is not satisfied (because you don’t have it) still satisfied (because you got it) May be world doesn’t come to know you have it but you know very secretly that you have it. Now if it comes to you then you have the joy to have it with PURITY and without an EGO!!!

PS: So give it up! Not the LPG Subsidiary but that one thing that you wished and wanted for the last Xteen years :) Would you?

I was excited to write my second note and I feel I did justice to it. Because the thought of GIVE UP came to me and I didn't rush to write something for the sake of Writing~ Adios with the thought Dwelling in my system.