I wish and I want

When things have to happen they happen. Sometimes we get impatient about it and sometimes we get laid back about it. 

A close friend told me to keep him posted about my unlearning series. My unlearning piece that happened a couple of days back has struck me very hard. From the day it struck me and today I have consciously, casually, unknowingly and knowingly kept on unlearning things as an when I could pull myself from the regular belief system of learning. So what did I do basically? 

I - Payal consciously looked at situations and let my feelings take over rather than thinking/logic take over. To be honest it may have been 2 % of my day or 0.2 % I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Let somethings be not calculated not structured not tabulated. 

It’s not that I like mess. I like to keep my table clean, my bed sheets white and spotless, my hair combed, my skin glowing, my books neat but I also like to wild in my thoughts. I like thoughts and cosmos energy free fall on me. Honestly I wanted to write something about trees, how trees have feelings and what great extent they can go till. I did watch a video on YouTube which gave reference of a BIG Channel BBC. Honestly after 15 off minutes I got bored. The data was too technical, too tabulated, and too proof oriented. When I am trying to unlearn why do I want to learn so much. Let the feeling that a tree has feelings just be there within me. I don’t need facts and figures, I don’t need discussions and forums, and all I need is a little bit of me. 

Today is kind of a big day for Internet. Messages/Videos/Articles going Viral about Leonardo DiCaprio Winning Oscar. I watched his speech and I read somewhere on Facebook that at last he has accepted Oscar, I kept on thinking did he ever give up Oscar? So I tried to Google for next 3 secs and we all know 3 sec for Google is a lot of time. I didn’t get anything that said he gave it up. It’s not about the actor but somewhere it struck me one can actually feel the joy of something (especially something that you need a lot) when you give up. I know a lot of my readers will say – That’s a stupid Idea or being cynical. But don’t you think when you get something you rather give up and then see how you feel about it. Let me not give an example. An example makes things very visual at times and very restricted. But let’s say in this way. I want something. Every night I wish for it. As per my belief and very well popular saying when you want something the whole universe tries its best to give it to you. The contemporary laws of attraction. Now you waited you wished you hoped you wanted and you Got IT. YES THE BIG DAY ARRIVED WHEN YOU OPENED YOUR EYES FROM YOUR SLEEP and your DREAM is now your REALITY. So what do you do you go ahead spread your arms of feelings and hug it? A lot of you may say its showing respect to that thing what you wanted. I would feel I would GIVE IT UP! I would give it up only to get it back again in a better way. Do I make sense to you? Now why I would give it up? I feel I would give up to get the feeling of giving up. When you want something very deep somewhere a thick slice of ego comes in with that want. I want to be pure to my want. I want to be fresh with my wish hence I want to give it up. In the process what happens. Ego is not satisfied (because you don’t have it) still satisfied (because you got it) May be world doesn’t come to know you have it but you know very secretly that you have it. Now if it comes to you then you have the joy to have it with PURITY and without an EGO!!!

PS: So give it up! Not the LPG Subsidiary but that one thing that you wished and wanted for the last Xteen years :) Would you?

I was excited to write my second note and I feel I did justice to it. Because the thought of GIVE UP came to me and I didn't rush to write something for the sake of Writing~ Adios with the thought Dwelling in my system.